An Empty Heart
by tsukiryoushi
Summary: Kurt falls into a deep depression after the death of someone he loves. A depression that even affects his faith. (One-shot Song-fic-PEASE REVIEW!


This is my first KurtOroro fic & I hope you all like it. I would like to thank all of you authers out there who have written fics about everyone's favorite goddess & demon couple. It is because of you that I had the courage to write this.

(I do not own X-Men or the song "Monday Morning Church".)

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Prof. Xavier and his students were lined up single file; they were each taking turns placing a flower on a coffin. The line progressed until Kurt was the last one to place his flower, a white rose, on the last resting place of his dearest friend.

_Why? _He thought to himself as he placed the rose on the coffin. _Why did she have to do something so reckless? Why did she give her life… for me?_

Everyone felt pain at the loss of their dear friend Ororo, but none so badly as Kurt. During a battle against an evil mutant, the enemy had thrown a dagger right towards Nightcrawler's heart. But Storm stepped in at the last minute & took his place in death. He had tried to get her to safety, but when he finally got her home it was too late. She was gone.

They returned home after the funeral & held a special memorial dinner in Storm's honor. But Kurt didn't attend. Instead, he went up to her room. He wasn't sure why he came here, but he found comfort standing in the room where she used to live. He looked at her dresser, & saw the Bible he had given her. He picked it up & tried to pray for comfort, but for the first time in his life, Kurt found it hard to pray. He tried to ask God to comfort him & his friends through this tragedy, but always found himself getting angry at God for taking Ororo away. He gave up after a few tries, & just put the Bible in a drawer, vowing to never read another word from it as long as he lived.

_You left your Bible on the dresser  
So I put it in the drawer  
'Cause I can't seem to talk to God without yelling anymore  
_

He walked over to her piano, the lid was still open & the keys already had dust on them. He remembered the beautiful songs Ororo would play, & how they always gave him a sense of peace. He couldn't stand to see them now, because it only reminded him that he would never hear her play the piano again, but when he tried to close the lid he couldn't bring himself to do it. So he just turned away.

_And when I sit at your piano  
I can almost hear those hymns  
The keys are just collecting dust  
But I can't close the lid  
_

He laid down on her bed & could still smell the scent of her silvery hair. He wished with all his heart that he was the one to die instead of her, & maybe then he would have some peace. But he knew that he would never have peace again. There was nothing left for him but to simply face the terrible truth: Ororo was gone… & his soul went with her to the grave.

_You left my heart as empty  
__As a Monday morning church  
It used to be so full of faith but now it only hurts  
And I can hear the devil whisper  
"Things are only getting worse"  
You left my heart as empty  
As a Monday morning church  
_

Kurt stayed in Ororo's room for days after the funeral. He only came out to get food every now & then, but even then he avoided any contact. All he would do both day & night, was sit on the bed & look at her picture.

Everyone became worried about him, so Logan & Scott decided to get someone who could help him.

Scott brought Father Murphy, A priest who ran a small church down the street. Kurt often used to help Father Murphy whenever he needed it, because he was one of the few people who didn't hate mutants & who wasn't frightened by Kurt's appearance.

"Kurt?" Father Murphy called through the door. "Are you all right?" Kurt wanted to answer, but remained silent. "Mr. Summers & Mr. Logan told me what happened, & you mustn't be so hard on yourself. It wasn't your fault." Kurt refused to believe that. He thought that if it hadn't been for him, Ororo would still be alive now. "Kurt, I know you are feeling pain now, but you must know that God cares about you & that he will help you through this."

"God may care about me," Kurt whispered to himself. "But I do not deserve his caring."

_  
The preacher came by Sunday  
Said he missed me at the service_

_He told me Jesus loves me  
But I'm not sure I deserve it_

"I don't deserve anyone's love or affection…" He continued. "I don't deserve anything." He felt bad about turning his back on everyone & everything, especially his faith, but he just couldn't hide the fact that an important part of himself had died with the woman he loved.

_  
'Cause the faithful man that you loved  
Is nowhere to be found  
Since they took all that he believed  
And laid it in the ground  
_

He remained this way for nearly two weeks, never talking to anyone. Not Logan, not Gene, not even Xavier. He couldn't bring himself to look at anyone, except for Ororo's picture. But the more he looked at it, the emptier his heart felt. It was one thing to look at a picture of her beautiful face; it was another to actually see her in person. To feel her smooth skin, to run your fingers through her long white hair, to kiss her soft lips, & best of all, to hear her angelic voice. It hurt Kurt to know he would never have any of those pleasures again, & something deep in his heart told him it wouldn't get any less painful.

_  
You left my heart as empty_

_As a Monday morning church_

_It used to be so full of faith but now it only hurts_

_And I can hear the devil whisper_

"_Things are only getting worse"_

_You left my heart as empty_

_As a Monday morning church_

Kurt hadn't completely deserted his faith though. The only comfort he ever found through all the pain, was knowing that Ororo was in a far better place, where all the pain she had felt in her life would be long forgotten. But he knew that, without her love to give him hope, Kurt no longer had a chance of seeing Paradise.

_I still believe in Heaven  
And I'm sure you've made it there  
But as for me without your love, girl  
I don't have a prayer  
_

He was laying on the floor now; he didn't want the pillows to lose her scent. He continued to look at her picture, even though it was starting to fade. He stood up & walked over to the mirror, where he saw his reflection for the first time in days. Needless to say, he wasn't looking too good. He wondered what Ororo would have thought if she had seen him like this. He wondered what she would have thought if she had seen what he was doing this to himself. Why was he doing this anyway?

He had felt responsible for her Ororo's death, & had blamed God for taking her away. But all he was doing was dishonoring her sacrifice. How did he not realize this before? He had turned his back on life, when Ororo had given her own life to ensure that he could live on. But what was he to do? He opened the drawer & found the Bible inside. He took it in his hand & teleported outside. From there he ran to the graveyard & found the grave where Ororo was buried. Kurt knelt down next to the headstone & read a passage from the Bible. He thought at first that he was only making thing worse, but soon found that he felt better.

_  
You left my heart as empty_

_As a Monday morning church_

_It used to be so full of faith but now it only hurts_

_And I can hear the devil whisper_

"_Things are only getting worse"_

_You left my heart as empty_

_As a Monday morning church  
_

Kurt closed the book as tears began to role down his face. He laid down next to the grave, & talked to Ororo as he always had when she was alive. "I'm sorry Ororo," he said. "I'm sorry for everything I've done. I want you to know that I miss you… &… I love you." He remained there all night before finally returning home. He returned to his normal routine, & had apologized to his friends for worrying them. But Kurt was still hurting inside, & he was never the same again.  
_You left your Bible on the dresser  
So I put it in the drawer_

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I hope y'all liked it. Please review & tell me what ya thought, or whether I did anything wrong with it.


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